You Will Too

In a previous post, I spoke of being lax when it came to my education. Because of this neglect, I haven't graduated high school yet even though I am in my twenties. My sister, who is younger, doesn't have her diploma either. I started homeschooling when I was fourteen years old, and I would like to think that if I could have seen eight years into the future I wouldn't have been so foolish, but I don't know. I realize that there were other people in my life that were responsible for my education to some degree; but we were both old enough when we began homeschooling, and we should have done better in the first place.

Although I eventually received a lecture from my father that spurred me to do more, life doesn't stop because textbooks need to be completed. I didn't think about the consequences of the path I was choosing, and I didn't make myself do it even though I didn't want to do it. I allowed other things to divert me from my studies, and, in fact, still do today. I know it shouldn't be the most important thing, but it should receive more focused attention than I give it.

A life without a diploma isn't very helpful, at least not where we live. It seems to be a problem for my sister, who wants to be a missionary. These days it is better if you go to college as part of preparation, and one can't go there without a diploma or GED. My being without a diploma doesn't help to show that I am not mentally challenged. My lack of a diploma has nothing to do with not being able to understand things in books, but rather a lack of understanding when it comes to the consequences of choices.

We searched for a way out of the messes we made, and found that the GED was out of the question if we wanted to remain true to principle. We looked into Seventh-Adventist schools too, but it wasn't possible for me, and my sister never finished pursuing a prospective academy. However, we will be able to receive the much-needed papers through Guilford Christian Academy, which makes it possible for homeschoolers like Katie and me to graduate. This opens up other doors, especially for Katie. Earlier on, there were thoughts of going to Hartland Institute, a school in Norway, an intern at Young Disciple. Now it is looking like she might be a camp counselor at Young Disciple camp.

I wouldn't be honest if I said I've always been thrilled with Kadri's going away—I haven't. God has showed me some things, however, that I would like to share with you. Perhaps some of you have to let someone go, too. When Kadri was considering Hartland more than she is now, I struggled but I did some thinking, and the principles still hold true today.

If Kadri were to go to Hartland, she would be going in preparation to do a good work. If she was supposed to go to Hartland and didn't, then she wouldn't be fulfilling God's plan for her.  On the other hand, if my sister followed God's leading, people would be in heaven that may not be there otherwise. What right do I have to be sad about that? Should I cherish the desire that would lead me to let someone experience death forever so that she could be with me a little longer?  No! Instead of pining, may I consider the possibilities; instead of tears, may there be a smile and a hearty, "Go!" Even if the people you know won't be involved in preparation for mission work or anything like that, think about how their leaving may mean that somewhere along the way, they will brighten someone else's life.

Before you think that there is no way you can think that way, that it will be too difficult to be without them and you will miss them too much, read to the end. Kadri and a friend of ours did go away recently—not to Hartland, but to the other side of the world, on a mission trip to the Philippines. I did struggle and shed tears. I was missing the adventure and whatnot. As time went by, however, thoughts came to my mind that helped me to come to terms with Kadri's absence and my place in life, and I talked and prayed with my mother about it. Things were obviously different, but I wasn't constantly thinking about Kadri or longing for her to come home. I adjusted to life as it was, and if you rely on God, you will too.

~Jean