To Truly Love

We met in the fifth grade, and spent all of middle school together. We saw each other in high school, but after I left public school in the beginning of ninth grade, I didn't talk with *Sean* for a long time. Then I wrote him a letter of apology for all the trouble I caused in years past, and he replied by letter. The friendship resumed, and he even came over to the apartment where we lived twice. I moved to Maine, but still kept in touch with him. At times, however, we passed through periods where we didn't talk to each other. Unfortunately, smooth-sailing has never characterized our relationship. Over the years, I've hurt him and he's hurt me.

Right now, it's one of those periods. I haven't talked with Sean for a few years. We texted  quite a bit, and finally I wrote him a friendly letter, which included something about him writing me for a change (I had seen however much of the documentary Captivated around this time, and I wrote about that, even quoting from the back of the case as far as I remember). I never heard from him again, either through texting or mail. People have told me there was nothing wrong with what I did. I don't know for certain why he ignored me, what he thought or felt. Yet when I look back over the more recent past, I see failure on my part, failure to be a true Christian, a true friend, yet again.

It's true that I could reach out to Sean if I wanted. After talking to more than one person, however, I've decided to leave him alone this time. I can't say that joy filled me when I made that decision. I wanted to reach out again, wanted to make wrongs right, wanted him in my life again.

 But what if I ended up hurting Sean more by reconnecting? What if that helped lead him to turn his back on God, and eventually experience eternal death? True, he will have made those decisions. True, the strong act independently of the example of others when it comes to matters of life and death, but many people don't possess that kind of strength. Whatever I do about him will affect not only him, but also others as well, in ways I cannot tell. God alone knows all the damage I've caused others, and I don't need to cause anymore.

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." John 15:12. The apostle Paul tells us in Romans 15:3, "For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me." Jesus lived for His Father's glory and for others' good. Love motivated Him to do what was best from that standpoint, no matter what He experienced.

Love led Him to suffer for us, to endure pain and unpleasantness so we could be redeemed. "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17. This means, then, that I must serve my friend the best I can, even if it hurts me. At this moment, that means staying away. I know that God is working to save Sean right now, just as He is working to save me. I know He can reunite us when He sees best.

And I know that He will give me the grace to do this, to truly love, come what may.